Guilt – That 4-Letter Word!

Guilt – That 4-Letter Word!Dad Is Fat
by Jim Gaffigan
Published by Archetype, Crown Publishing Group
Published May 7, 2013
Genre: Humor, Non-Fiction
Pages: 288
Source: complimentary review copy
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This post was inspired by the novel Dad Is Fat by comedian Jim Gaffigan who riffs on his adventures co-parenting 5 kids in a 2 bedroom Manhattan apartment.  Join From Left to Write on April 22nd as we discuss Dad Is Fat.  As a member, I received a copy for review purposes.

Guilt ~ should be a 4-letter word, don’t you think?

We all feel it at some time or another {unless you’re a sociopath}.  If you’re a mom though, that feeling typically works its way into your psyche even before the hospital lets you leave with the baby and stays for. . .well. . .an eternity.  Of course it comes and goes, ebbs and flows – but I daresay, if you’re a mom, then you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Recently I had a conversation with my mom about having feelings of guilt for different aspects of how I raised my children.  I was asking her if these feelings will ever go away.  My mom is the wisest woman I know so I thought for sure she would have the right answer.  I was definitely not encouraged when she told me she still feels guilty about times when my brothers and I were young.  Aargh!  That’s so not what I wanted to hear.

Then I asked my daughter if she ever feels guilty about the choices she is making with The Little Monkey.  I was expecting a resounding “no” as I think she’s a most fabulous mom, but alas, she struggles with guilt as well.

My best friend who has a 13 month old – same story.

So when I read this quote in Dad Is Fat it was almost with a sense of “YES! Dad’s experience it too!”   Not that I would wish the sensation on anyone, mind you ;-)

No matter how hard you try to be a good parent, you always know deep down that you could do more.  I feel guilty when I travel out of town to do shows.  I feel guilty when I’m in town and I don’t spend every single moment with my children.  I feel guilty when I’m spending time with my children and I am not doing something constructive toward their intellectual development. . .(p. 26 – 27)

We all have these guilty feelings, some warranted – like yelling at your child for no reason; and many of those feelings not so warranted – such as your child is in a bad mood so it must be your fault.  I am guilty on both fronts and within this past week!

Although I snapped at my son because I was stressed about making him late for a music gig, I did apologize almost immediately.  And though I internalized that my daughter was in a bad mood because of me or something I did/said or didn’t do/say, I realized it’s not always about me.  She’s grown, with her own life and issues and moods and with a two year old that although he is the sun, moon and stars all rolled into one he can also cause her feelings of guilt.

I guess what I’ve come to realize is that guilt is one of those feelings we all have, but so is joy, confidence, pleasure, freedom, happiness, love, blessed, merry, amazed, thankful and so many others.  I consciously choose to take a step back when I sense guilt creeping in; see what it is bringing that 5-letter word out {should be a 4-letter word}, and then if it is something I can change or fix I do, but most of the time I let it go and choose to be happy and content instead.

How do you deal with feelings of guilt?  

Share your tips in the comments so we can all support and encourage one another.

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Ask the Bloggers: A Day in the Life . . .

ask the bloggers

 

This segment of Ask the Bloggers is all about a Day in the Life of . . .  One thing is for certain, these book bloggers share a love of the book much more than the television!

dingShannon at River City Reading  Most mornings before going to work, I spend about 20 minutes scheduling Tweets/Facebook posts and replying to general blogging e-mail. I usually get home from work around 5:00 and will spend time reading and responding to posts after (or sometimes during!) dinner. I do most of my post writing when I’m off on the weekend, but if I have anything extra to work on when it comes to scheduled posts, I’ll usually do that during this time to. The rest of the evening, from maybe 7-midnight (my bedtime is terrible), I’ll be off and on between reading, spending time with my family or working on the blog, depending on the day.

 

sheila from book journeySheila from Book Journey  A day in the life of Book Journey looks something like this. I get up in the morning and grab my coffee (fuel, elixir of life…) and usually sit down at my lap top. Morning Meanderings are a “me unplugged” blog post and may or may not be book related but are a fun way for me to connect with my readers at a different level. I may talk about a funny happening, or working out, or something I am looking forward to, or even something I am dreading.

When I start to read or listen to a book I usually have a draft post started as well so I can pop things into the draft like quotes from the book, things that the read makes me feel or thoughts that come to mind. In the mornings I may add to these drafts.  If a book has been finished I use the mornings to prep a review to go live somewhere around 11 am central standard time. I put the finishing touches on my review and schedule it. If I have time, I have a group of book blogs I like to pop in on and read about what they are reading.

I lead a pretty bookish life and books are usually entwined with me daily. When I get ready in the mornings I listen to audio, not because of the blog – but because I really LOVE audio books… books that allow me to do other things while listening. A second audio is always ready to go in my car and I listen to that on my way to work.

In the late afternoons I am usually alone in the house as we own an Excavating Company and my husband is usually not home this time of year before 7 pm. I listen to audio while I do laundry, dust, sweep, cook supper, etc…. and in the evenings after hubby goes to bed, I tend to read either in the cozy recliner, or when it is warm enough, out on the back deck. There is rarely a day when I do not get in some sort of reading.

Evenings are also when I return to the blog, reading others posts, and updating my drafts or finalizing thoughts on a book to be posted soon.

 

kathy from bermudaonion.netKathy at BermudaOnion  I think most people will find my typical day pretty dull, but I’ll fill you in anyway. My mornings are pretty structured. I get up around 6 AM and walk for a little over 3.5 miles. When I get home, I spend an hour or so on the computer checking and responding to email and reading blogs. After that, I shower and get ready for work, just in case my son needs me to help out at his store. I do a little housework and then I call to check on my mother and my mother-in-law.

My afternoons vary. Several days a week, you’ll find me helping out at my son’s store, but I also find time to attend author events, meet my husband for lunch, or go to lunch and/or a movie with a friend. I also get my errands run and do a few more household chores.

I might get a little reading done in the afternoon but most of my reading is done in the evenings since I’m not much of a TV watcher. I listen to one audio book while I walk and to another in the car, but usually only have one print book going at a time. I like to stay ahead on blog posts so try to get several written every week, usually in the afternoon or evening.


 

A day in The Novel Life? Well, it depends if I’m keeping The Little Monkey for the day or not.  Also depends if it is Inspys season or not – during the Board’s review of the long lists where we whittle down a couple hundred books to only 5 per category, my days revolve around reading those selections.  Sooo, if I’m not keeping TLM and I’m not immersed in reading for the Inspys then . . .well, I’m trying to think of an actual typical day!  It also depends if I’m in the city or in the mountains and if any of my three children need me at the moment.  Oh gosh I need a schedule!

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Me & The Little Monkey

If I’m in the city {Atlanta}, then I can get several good hours in devoted to my blog.  “Hours?” you say.  Yup.  Hours.  Takes me at least two – three hours per blog post.  As much as I like writing it does not come easy.  Thinking of the right word when all the words are failing to come out is frustrating.  So I will open the thesaurus tab – do you know how much you can learn just by opening that site?  There is a ton of information ALL about words and it’s so easy to get lost and forget to find my way back to my blog til hours later. . .well, you get the idea ;-)

If I’m in the mountains my days are usually spent with my family.  Some days it is easier to see one child than the other but that is my time to focus on them.  If you have a child between the ages of 18 – 21 I’m sure you know how hard it is to tie one down long enough to grab a hug or especially a conversation!  Having three that fall into those ages makes it a bit of challenge, but I do have my mommy ways!  Weekends in the mountains are spent at the RV Resort and, well. . . . the mountains.  I get some reading time in, a bit of computer time and lots of time with my Honey.  My life is good.  Great family, sweet Honey, and wonderful friends.  Thank you for being a part.

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An Easter Wish

Throughout the world today many will be celebrating Easter.  Whether you are a Jesus-follower, non-believer or just don’t know what to think, it is my wish that this day brings you love, light and peace.

Do not abandon yourselves to despair.-2

 

what are your plans for the day sweet friend? a day with family? friends?

a good book? movie?

 

Book Review: The Accident

Book Review:  The AccidentThe Accident
by Chris Pavone
Published by Crown Publishing Group
Published March 11, 2014
Genre: Fiction, Suspense, Thriller
Pages: 400
Source: complimentary review copy
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As dawn approaches in New York, literary agent Isabel Reed is turning the final pages of a mysterious, anonymous manuscript, racing through the explosive revelations about powerful people, as well as long-hidden secrets about her own past. In Copenhagen, veteran CIA operative Hayden Gray, determined that this sweeping story be buried, is suddenly staring down the barrel of an unexpected gun. And in Zurich, the author himself is hiding in a shadowy expat life, trying to atone for a lifetime’s worth of lies and betrayals with publication of The Accident, while always looking over his shoulder.

The Accident is to publishing as The Devil Wears Prada is to fashion magazines.  It reads like an expose of the publishing industry and is a wild roller coaster ride following the assassinations and intrigue.  And there are quite a few bodies piling up throughout.  Each turn of the page brought a new plot detail into the open.  I was guessing all the way to the very last page.

I have not read The Expats (Pavone’s first novel) yet but intend to do so very soon.  If you like a good suspenseful thriller with lots of espionage, secrecy, and shock-value then you will probably enjoy The Accident.  It will have you asking questions like how well do we know the ones we love? and wow! is the publishing world really that intense?  And how well do we trust the government to serve the people?

Pavone’s writing is sharp.  The plot is fast-moving.  I read The Accident in one sitting because I could never get to a pausing point – I was afraid of missing something ;-)  I did have to suspend belief somewhat because I really hate to think the publishing world is that cutthroat.  The Accident was entertaining, a wonderful escape and immense fun.

Have you read The Accident?  What are your thoughts on this one?

 

If you purchase The Accident from Amazon or IndieBound, I will receive a small percentage at no cost to you.  This is very helpful in paying for hosting fees, giveaways and postage.  Thank you!

Reasons My Little Guy Is Smiling

Reasons-My-Kid-Is-Crying-From-Left-to-Write-Banner
I’m flipping it up on this From Left to Right Review of Reasons My Kid Is Crying and going with smiles galore from the grandson! Honestly I have been trying to capture a tear for over a month but the Little Monkey is so good natured that it’s practically impossible. Besides, smiles are infectious!

Dinosaur Food with The Land Before Time

Dinosaur Food and The Land Before Time

 

Because I'm Happy!

Because I’m Happy, Happy, Happy!

Inspired by the book Reasons My Kid Is Crying by Greg Pembroke based off the Tumblr site Reasons My Son Is Crying – both are absolutely hilarious and should be added to every new parent’s “must read” collection! Join From Left to Write Book Club as we discuss Reasons My Kid Is Crying on April 15th {could be great comic relief for anyone doing the “reasons I am crying” for tax day!}  As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Purchase Reasons My Kid Is Crying at IndieBound or Amazon.  I receive a small percentage if you purchase from those links, and there’s no cost to you.

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